Sirius' Facts
by foreverwacky
Summary: Just some fun facts and Sirius' funny comments...you'll learn something and be entertained at the same time!


Lily's Interesting Facts (With Sirius' Interesting Comments)

"I'm bored." Sirius stated matter-of-factly as all five of them lay out in the sun right after their last N.E.W.T test, which happened to be Transfiguration.

"Well, I have some interesting facts I could share," Lily said.

"Bbbbooorrrrriiiiiinnnngggg." Sirius stated.

"Harrumph," Lily said. "Well, I'll start anyway."

Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Anyways," Lily went on. "If you yelled for eight years, seven months, and six days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee."

"Hardly seems worth it," Sirius told her. Peter's eyes were as round as galleons, James laughed, and Remus nodded knowingly.

"I have one!" James butted in. "If you _farted_ consistently for six years and nine months, enough gas would be produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb."

This time, everybody burst out laughing and Sirius said, "Now that's more like it."

"Oh really?" Lily said. "The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet."

There was silence, until, "Oh my God…." Was all Sirius could say.

"I have another one." James said quickly, grinning. "A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes."

Sirius' jaw dropped. "In my next life, I want to be a pig."

"You _are_ a pig." Lily stated.

"I have one," Remus piped up. "A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death."

"Creepy." Lily said.

And right after, "I'm still not over the pig." Sirius said.

"Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour." James said right after.

"I should try that." Sirius said, and moved to get up but both Lily and Remus held him down.

"I have another one," said James. "The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off."

Sirius burst out laughing at this one, and then said, "Honey, I'm home! What the…..?" They all started laughing after that.

"Oooh, how about: the flea can jump 350 times its body length. That's like a human jumping a football field."

Silence. Then they all heard Sirius muttering to himself, "30 minutes. Can you imagine….?"

"Erm…Sirius?" Lily prodded him with a stick. He ignored her.

"Anyways, the Catfish has over 27,000 taste buds." Lily told them.

"What can be so tasty at the bottom of a pond?" asked James. Nobody answered. "Well, some lions mate over 50 times a day." He added, looking hopefully at Lily, who can him a 'no way' look.

This, however, started Sirius out of his fantasies. "Ah, I still want to be a pig in my next life…quality over quantity."

The rest just stared at him.

"Right…um butterflies taste with their feet." Remus spoke up again.

"Something I always wanted to know," said Sirius.

"The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue," Lily said right after.

"Hmmmmmm," said Sirius, looking thoughtfully over at a crowd of giggling girls.

"Don't even try it," said Lily, sternly.

"Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do." Said Remus.

"I'm doomed," laughed James.

"If your ambidextrous, do you split the difference?" asked Sirius jokingly.

Instead of laughing, his friends just stared at him until Lily asked, "Where did you learn a word that big?"

Sirius laughed hard, until he realized she was serious, but it took awhile.

"Elephants are the only animal that can't jump." Lily said quickly, trying to break the awkward silence, after Sirius finally figured out what she had said.

"Okay…so that would be a good thing." He said. "And I have one…a cat's urine glows under a black light."

"I wonder how he figured that one out," Lily whispered to James.

"An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain." Remus said.

"I know some people like that," Lily said, eyeing Peter.

"And Starfish have no brains," Remus continued.

"I know some people like that, too," said Lily, eyeing Sirius, who looked humorously offended.

"Polar bears are left handed," said James.

"Who knew?" asked Lily.

"Who cares?" asked Sirius.

"Okay, one last one," said James, as it was now time to go back in. "Human and Dolphins are the only species to have sex for pleasure.

"What about the pig!" asked a confused Sirius, as they made their way back up to the castle.

XxXxX

Hope you enjoyed. You actually learnt a few things, and were humored by Sirius. So REVIEW now:D


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